#Seven year itch in marriage full#

Change in relationships is inevitable because relationships are a combination of two people with separate histories and backgrounds. In fact, the most successful couples I know actually told me, “We did not even have bank savings! For so many years, it seemed like we were just surviving, but really, we were going with life’s flow.” Life’s flow, they explained, has to do with dealing with changes. 8 out of 10 times, they’ll laugh at you (or probably even ask you, “Plans? What plans?”). You can also ask them if their original (external) plans actually happened - you know, those plans of having a house, where to live, how many kids to have, etc. When you ask people who are long-married, they will tell you that they’re no longer the same people who got into the relationship in the first place. Acknowledge that changes are inevitable to life So you have to look at seven year cycles in your relationships because the 7th, 14th, 21st, 28th years are critical years.

#Seven year itch in marriage full#

A full cycle usually happens in seven years (thus the term “The Seven-Year Itch”). The Seven Year Itch states that happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven of marriage, which explains why the median duration of marriages that end in divorce or separation is around 7 years (to be more accurate, in 1922, it was 6.6 years in 1974, the median duration was 7.5 years in 1990 the median duration was 7.2 years in the 2000s, it is also roughly seven years.)Įvery major relationship transition (being friends to lovers, to being engaged, to being married, to living together, and then having kids) brings with it the requisite stress and anxiety that naturally come with usual transitions. It’s a project I’m working on and I’m excited to share it with you sometime in the next few months.įor today, I will talk about the more subtle changes: the changes in character and behaviour that naturally happen as a person gets older, but becomes complicated because the person is in a relationship. I will write about dealing with these external changes in a longer article.

What if we change life directions? What if one of you decides to change career, or gets promoted, or has to move to another city (or country, like we did!) because of work? Those are the clearer external changes in a couple’s or a family’s life. The dynamics, for sure, is difficult, but it is navigable. What tips can help us deal with this difficult time? Life is already difficult dealing with changes yourself, what if the two of you change at the same time? Just as we are born and reborn many times over in our lives, our relationships are born and reborn many times over as well.

This time, I want to discuss the rebirths and changes that happen as part of being a couple - especially couples who go through and have to deal with the Seven Year Itch. Previously, I talked about rebirths and change in another article ( check that out here!).